Female geodes (not a euphamism for ovaries)

If a man comes up to you in a store and asks you to hold a crystal (which he refers to as a 'she'), do yourself a favor and run away as fast as you can. This happened to me and I froze on the spot. I then had to pretend to be interested in a female geode whilst joe psychic stared into my eyes with aggresive serenity.

Awful or awesome???

I was pottering around on the net looking for directions on making soft toys and came across this image:

I just want to know how someone gets this shit published???

I'm not sure, but does it look like he is crying?

Old man sans inner monologue

Walking home post grocery shopping from my local Woolworths I made the mistake of making eye contact with some kind of vagrant man on Malvern Road. I was toting a skateboard which freaked the old man out so much he felt the need to rant about it:

"SKATE RIDER! A FEMALE SKATE RIDER?? I NEVER. WHAT AN ANIMAL!"

That was about all he had to say.

Maybe if I told him I didn't actually know how to skate it would've reassured him.